Equally Terrified and Excited

I recently made a major life decision - to move to Italy for four months and teach English. I am not a teacher, I do not speak Italian, and I've never lived more than an hour and a half from home. So naturally this makes perfect sense.

After working in a corporate setting for about a month as an intern, I quickly realized that I was not ready to start my 9 to 5 life quite yet. At one point I think I'll be okay with that. But not at the moment. 

So I did some research on different programs that would allow me to live abroad and found one that I loved in Italy. It would allow me to live in Florence (the birthplace of the Renaissance aka my DREAM) for a month getting my TEFL certification, and then move to another part of Italy for another few months for the actual teaching. 

While I was planning and applying, it was all still an idea. I had the potential to live in Italy, but the reality had certainly not set in. Once I got my official acceptance and had to begin the visa process, it became very, very real. Then I booked my flights and I had an immense wave of anxiety flow over me and I legitimately couldn't stop shaking. What a great feeling! 

I began to wonder if I could really do this. What if I hated it? What if I got kidnapped while I was there? What if my visa didn't go through? What if I ran out of money and became homeless in Italy? 

After the initial panic, I was able to calm myself down reminding myself something a friend mentioned after I said I was equally terrified and excited.

"What a great place to be, everyone should always feel like that."

I've heard all the cliche quotes like "if you're not scared you're not doing life right," and "you have to get out of your comfort zone to grow," and other dumb things like that, but they've always felt fake. This didn't. I felt empowered by my ability to make this huge decision and to stick to it. It's one thing to think about moving halfway around the world, it's another thing to actually do it. And unless I have some unforeseen issue with my visa, I'll be doing it. 

Throughout this terrifying and exciting journey, I'll be documenting my adventures through this blog. Taking the time once a week to reflect on what I'm doing will help me not only keep track of everything I do, but will put my family and friends at ease since I know they are already panicking as much as I am, if not more. 

If you're at all interested in my random Italian adventure, subscribe to this blog, Traveling Because I Can, to hear more.